okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
