I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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