Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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