I can tuck mytits in my pants
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
