I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm passing your future prison.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
