She announced her abortion via fbk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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