i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
