Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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