this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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