Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
