I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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