i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Too much gin, very little bucket
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
