I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
