xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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