I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
