The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
