dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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