Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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