Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
