Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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