How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
