I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
