Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
