Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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