yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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