smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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