You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
