why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
