It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
