the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
