Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
