Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
