you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
