My room smells like vodka and shame
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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