He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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