Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry JoeFuckTheRagMan hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

Fav 23 1687 3299
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.

Fav 35 1262 5280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.

Fav 15 1812 4762
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

Fav 20 6797 1374
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

Fav 1 1747 915
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

Fav 8 2289 870
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"

Fav 0 729 570
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck

Fav 0 53 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill

Fav 0 38 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT