Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize