today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
