There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
