This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My ATM looks so different sober.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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