Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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