Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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