id be glad to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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