Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
