i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
