I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize