Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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