He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
