i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
