New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize