would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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