I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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