a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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