I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
