i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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