Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
