so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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