I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
