So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
