some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
