thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
