Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
