Where is the hickey?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
