Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
