did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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