The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
