I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
