Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
