Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize