Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have fence marks all over my body
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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