i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
